Violette Thorngate Exquisite Dominance


Q: What kinds of people do you most enjoy seeing?

A: My favourite moments in and out of the dungeon are with authentic individuals who value my time and attention. I find that I have the best chemistry with those who are earnest and communicative, deferential and sincere. Your body's age, size, shape, colour, gender or ability do not, in themselves, determine our compatibility. Attendance to my protocol and direction is very important when attempting to gain favour! I love for my companion to smell nice, to be positive and generous, to share his fears and his expectations with me.

Q: I don't live in or visit SF, but I would love to see you. Are you planning to visit my city any time soon?

A: I travel regularly, and you will find plenty of information on that on the Locations page. If you'd like to be notified when I plan a trip near you, join my mailing list. I am also available to travel to or with you, domestic or international.

Q: Discretion is a major concern for me. How will you preserve our privacy?

A: Our mutual discretion and confidentiality is very important to me. Booking, confirmation, and meeting protocols are all designed with prudence in mind to protect the connection we share. Our phone contact, email exchanges, and any information about you and our sessions are all either encrypted or password protected and deleted promptly. I am happy to sign an NDA or privacy agreement. When out to dinner or in other public spaces, my dress and demeanor are consistent with the context. If, for any reason, you would prefer not to be out in the world together, food and entertainment can always come to us. My session environments are always private with an inconspicuous exterior. You should be, too.

Q: May I bring or send you a gift, tip, token, or other consideration?

A: I appreciate meaningful gifts but discourage obligation or empty purchasing for purchasing's sake. If you feel moved to bring or send a present, please consider my values: local, beautiful, sustainable, feminine, glamorous, artisan, vintage, useful. Some things I would particularly love to be surprised with:

Theatre or museum memberships (or an additonal/guest card on your membership)

Nespresso capsules for my machine

Gift credit at Mr. S Leather for gear

Sweet or sparkling wines such as Pineau des Charantes, Muscato d'Asti, or my favourite- Tokaji

Gift certificates to favourite restaurants in my city or your favourites in cities I visit

Gift certificates for massage and spa services

Gift cards for independent book stores

Earrings, bracelets, or necklaces that reflect my style

Cashmere or angora sweaters and shawls

Vintage-style RHT stockings (backseam, dot, or simple)

Curious plants, botanical treasures (ferns, succulents, dishidia)

Fine chocolates and sweets, organic seasonal fruit, loose leaf teas

Q: I had such a fantastic experience with you. Where can I post a review?

A. I love hearing your thoughts but for a number of reasons, I do not participate in online review culture. Our mutual discretion is, again, very important to me. If you'd like to share your reflections about our time together, I encourage you to write to me directly. Posting session details elsewhere (my blog, message boards, here) is by mutual consent only. If you have any concerns about time we've spent together, please bring them to my attention directly.

Q: I want to apply for a position as your personal submissive, houseboy, slave, or sissymaid. How do I do this?

A: The time I spend with treasured companions is intimate, meaningful, and very real for me. If what you are seeking from a "personal" position is closeness and regular devotional contact, the best way to achieve that is by showing yourself to be someone I would like to see often.

Q: How do you prefer to be addressed?

A: The tone of our relationship dictates what form of address is most appropriate. In the beginning I prefer Miss, Miss Violette, or Miss Thorngate while we're in a D/s frame of mind. These are terms of respect which you might accord to any woman from your position of deference. In some contexts just Violette may be appropriate. Ms. is equally acceptable, but Mistress, Goddess, or anything along those lines feels a bit contrived and presumptuous before we’ve met.

Q: Is there anything else I should know about our meeting?

A: Once we have a rendezvous planned, I will send you an email with everything you need to know before we meet.

Q: I don't like pain/bondage/roleplay/feminization/humiliation. Does our time together have to include it?

A: Our time together must please me. Generally one or more of the elements above will be involved, although the only non-negotiable element is my ultimate authority. I do enjoy fetish play outside of a Dominant/submissive context if the theme is interesting to me.