Violette Thorngate Exquisite Dominance

Jun 21 2013 Pleasure and DistractionCategory: General     02:12PM   0

“Hutchison's Law: Any occurrence requiring undivided attention will be accompanied by a compelling distraction.” - Robert Bloch

Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys, which distract our attention from serious things.” - Henry David Thoreau

. . .

Lately I have been kept busy with exciting people and projects - a kind of busy that tempts even more busy-ness, invites in new projects and people, and by extension requires some serious, weapons grade distraction and leisure time.

Some of you may know that I am engaging in an academic project through the end of this year. I’m really happy to be doing the work as I love the subject matter, the people, and the way it fits in to my flexible, even whimsical schedule. The opportunity to dig deeper into a few of my interests in the company of equally impassioned, intelligent and interesting people- that’s 50% of my idea of heaven on Earth. The thought that this work has real implications for reducing (non-consensual!) suffering and inspiring others drives me onward, kindles my fire.

My fire is also kindled by the breaks I take to enjoy distracting phone calls from you. My time connected through NiteFlirt, available for chat, is usually synced up with my studious hours. Sitting in my Perfectly Comfortable Chair, reclining with book or laptop, I am flanked on either side by a small warm pup and a hot cup of tea. The phone purrs and I guide my laptop closed, look out the bay windows at my beloved view. In the foreground, the gentle jostle of Japanese maple, papery pink bougainvillea and a Persian plum tree with leaves blackish-purple like eggplant or a bruise. In the middle distance there are Victorian homes, no colour left unsampled between them, and people strolling and milling around a little cafe. Over the rooftops I see the hills- some clothed in houses and some with green and trees. Right now the green parts are golden from the summer and the glass on each house seems to reflect a signal of dots and dashes in the bright sun. l pick up the phone and take a break from academia to stimulate a different part of my brain. When you see that I am available, that’s your invitation to give me a call and distract me. Together we’ll maintain neurological equilibrium.

The academic project will keep my travels limited to two-week jaunts between meetings until mid-December, which means the usual extended summer in France is off the table for 2013. For July, I’ve been invited to do some glamourous camping (we don't quite say glamping, it's not that luxurious) with friends, and I’m considering a visit to Portland and/or L.A. Still, I need some relaxing time away by myself with no electronics or obligations. Important elements of this retreat are nature, swimming, fresh fruit, music, a silk peignoir, notebooks, food magazines, and sunshine. Bringing along the canine companion is part of the plan as well; There’s a rich international history of courtesans with little dogs and I’m required to honour my legacy. I’m thinking of a resort along the Russian River or in Napa somewhere. Let me know if you have a favourite spot I should look into.

I’m happy with the amount of time I’m spending being studious these days. I’m able to maintain that focus through regular breaks for distraction and pleasure. Both of them call to us naturally, invite us to stray or play. Refusing them only makes them call louder and results in anxiety, stress, depression, and long term damage to our mental and physical health. Understanding and embracing our need for pleasure and distraction is liberating - I’m calling you to mutual liberation!

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